Why aren't you a Trump supporter?
Last Updated: 30.06.2025 04:00
I have an acute aversion to scumbags
I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane
I can count
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I have a reading level above third grade
I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”
I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes
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I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity
I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t
I understand how hurricane paths work
I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP
When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP
Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:
I actually pay taxes
I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”
I don’t cotton to rapists
I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”
I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes
I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”
I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened
I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink
I have complete contempt for traitorism
Why are Indians so influenced by the Western culture, when the Indian tradition has so much to give?
When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability
I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light
Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?
If someone works for me, I actually pay them
I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t
I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions
I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard
I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is
I don’t buy bullshit
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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.
I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”
authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday
I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”
I have complete contempt for fakery
EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that
It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter
I know who the president of Turkey really is
I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write
I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight
A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y
I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee
Why is my Whirlpool fridge not cooling but the freezer works? What is the solution?
I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”
I see through liars
It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms
I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones
I can read
I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.
I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality
I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t
I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”
I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”
I don’t watch or listen to advertising
I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center
I took the same Oath and took it seriously
I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet
I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup
I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”